Tucked in

For my birthday I asked Jeffrey to get me a car cover for the MX-5.

Here she is all tucked in for the next couple of days:

When did Halloween start to suck?

Last year we had about 6 kids trick or treat our house. This year? 3. From the same family. At 5 p.m. before they went to a Halloween party at church.

WTF?

Growing up, a group of us would traipse around the neighborhood with PILLOW CASES, with sight-interfering costumes and flashlights, hitting every house with a porch light on. We'd come home, dump our now-heavy bags of loot on the floor and would sort the different candies into piles. I remember the families that had a lot of kids had BOXES of old costumes to pick through.

It was unthinkable to go to the mall. Only total losers with insane parents would go to the mall.

Now the kids go to the mall without question or, (this hurts me) church Halloween parties, instead of going door-to-door.

What happened?

Paperless billing: Low on postage, high on anxiety

If you've met Jeffrey, my husband, you are then fully aware that he can get a little, er, tense.

For example, the Arizona Bar Exam, many many months away, is already giving him nightmares. Many would say, "Hey, that's understandable, it's a really big test."

Yes. Yes it is.

However, most students probably are worried about it, have some anxiety about it, and can move on. In fact, many students should have this level of anxiety about it as they are about as smart as our poodle but have thumbs and lucked out and filled in the right bubbles on the Scantron sheet.

Jeffrey, despite his demonstrated exceptional intelligence, continues to grimly prepare me for my potential future living in a cardboard box. (I just tell him we'll try to raid the Lowe's recycling area for a Sub Zero box so he'll fit. I'm very supportive.)

So today when I opened our cell phone bill and it was erroneously reporting that we owed the carrier one bajillion dollars, my panic wasn't that we actually owed one bajillion dollars (we don't), it was that I needed to hide it before Jeffrey got home. Or maybe more adult-like, call customer service and get it squared away. Before. The. Freakout.

It isn't enough to Big Lebowski him with a hearty Walter "Nothing is fucked here," but I knew that if I didn't call immediately, he'd spend the rest of the evening worrying that not only did we owe the money, but that checking the bank balance would show the money had been deducted. (Of course not evidence of payment, but that they had our money and they didn't know it and we couldn't prove it thus pitching us into some kind of e-billing black hole of despair.)

Where does this anxiety stem from! Paperless billing? Something even my mom got a handle on several years ago? Still freaks the shit out of him.

Point out that this is as unscientific as his father's fear of ATMs taking his card and never giving it back (and thus he will not use the ever-so-reliable-been-used-for-years-so-calm-the-hell-down machines or his defiance in using seat belts and allowing the warning bing to slowly drive everyone in the car to the brink of insanity).

Going electronic was supposed to alleviate the worry of having to remember to pay stuff. It was supposed to save us a stamp and reduce the anxiety of the monthly bill pay. Instead, it's just one more thing that can potentially go wrong and take us one step closer to our corrugated cardboard home.

At home with the me

*waves*

Hi there! I suck. I know. I haven't been blogging and I never got the photos up from my trip and I've caught a lot of shit for it and, well, maybe now that I'm not blogging daily for my job I'll have a little free mental space for this blog.

Lord knows I write enough every day on Twitter and Facebook to fill the space up.

So, I'm sorry, I'll try to be better.

And here is some dialogue from Gross Pointe Blank to fill your void of joy:

Marty: Oatman? Don't hang up. Listen, I didn't kill anyone - except some guy tried to kill me, so if I see that guy again, I'm definitely gonna kill him, but I'm not going to kill anybody else. I'm on my way to the reunion now with Debi, but I'm just a little nervous, and I'd like to do a phoner.
Dr. Oatman: O.K., repeat after me. "I am at home with the me. I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure."
Marty: I am at home with the me, I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure.
Dr. Oatman: Good. Now take a deep breath, and realize that this is me breathing.
Marty: Wait, I'm confused. Do you want me to say it or do you want me to realize it?
Dr. Oatman: What?
Marty: About the breathing.
Dr. Oatman: Say it.
Marty: This is me breathing.
Dr. Oatman: Good, now keep doing that for about twenty minutes.
Marty: Listen, I got to go.
Dr. Oatman: O.K. Keep it up. Don't kill anybody.
Marty: Right!
[Hangs up]

And a video clip from "In the Loop" that is horrendously vulgar and is possibly my new favorite bunch of sound bites. This is NSFS (Not Safe for Shirley).

Jet lag is easy if you don't have to be anywhere...

View from the Tower of London Bridge

Hanging out in the drawing room of The Dukes

St. Paul's Cathedral

A little skyline. The pointy bullet building is the Gherkin

The back of Buckingham Palace from the garden

Today we got started a bit late. Neither one of us woke up until around noon, so by the time we had finished our tour of the Buckingham Palace state rooms, we had only a little bit of time before the stores closed.

Edith has become obsessed with the Liberty signature soaps, so we had to go back and snag a few more bars of it. I don't know how we're getting it home considering that on the way here her bags were already prohibitively over the weight allowance. Going to have to get some more luggage I guess.

We had wanted to do a river tour on the Thames, but by the time we got to the dock area, they had shuttered for the night. Instead, our cab driver took us around and showed us some important buildings--the building they call the gherkin due to it's pickle shape, a government office they call the glass testicle, the Tower of London, St. Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abby, Parliament, and a few others. This was excellent, one we didn't have to walk and two I didn't have to pretend I actually cared and could just admire the window boxes (like the ones that have little topiary bushes the best. Geranium plantings a close second).

I think it's time to head out. The staff at the hotel have started asking us what our room number is with an intonation that suggests they are putting a black mark next to it on some "spit in their tea" ledger.

Oh! And speaking of tea, we had afternoon tea/coffee/ice cream in the hotel drawing room and a group of ladies with southern accents were gabbing in one of the alcoves. They were snapping pictures and I offered to take on of their group. When I asked them where they were from, they said Lubbock. The story continues in a really boring way so the gist of it is that not only did Edith live in Lubbock, but apparently Edith and the ladies all knew the same people and we're all going on the same trip. Only Edith and I can travel all the way to London and not meet anyone British.

The real point of the trip, the cruise, will start tomorrow. We leave for Southampton in a hired car at 11 a.m. and it apparently takes about two hours to get there. I'm not sure what the wi-fi situation will be on the boat, so if you don't see any more posts from me, it means the situation is expensive!

What time is it?

Dukes Hotel

The London Eye or "The Big Wheel" as the cabbie called it.

Big Ben as seen from the London Eye

No. 6 Chester Street revisited.

I have no idea what time it is here or anywhere else. Generally, this isn't a problem except, well, Edith keeps asking me what time it is.

So ... Live from London! It's us!

Here's the tally for the trip so far:
1. American Airlines employees abused- 2
2. Seats that were supposed to be empty on the flight that were instead filled by a lady who decided she wanted to sit there instead of her booked seat and totally bummed me out (who also happened to look like a mole or some other dark dwelling, fairly sightless creature - 1
3. Number of Ambien pills taken to ignore mole-like lady's elbows - 1/2
4. Number of times I lost Edith in Harrod's-2
5. Bars of soap purchased for Edith Compadres that she is now not giving to them because the soap is too good for them-6
6. Amount of English speakers in London Eye capsule-2
7. Times I've asked an 85-year-old woman if she has her teeth (can I just say that there is something very amusing to me about a glass of teeth soaking on a gorgeous marble vanity?)- so far, only had to check twice

So far, so good. The Dukes is a lovely hotel nestled secretively in the Picadilly area of London (we've walked right by it twice. It's really hidden and none of the local shop girls know where it is, even if they are working right across the street). Edith's walking tolerance is limited so we've taken a lot of cabs today and one guy swung us by the millions-of-dollar townhouse I stayed in when I was younger with my mom and aunt years ago.

The weather has been wonderful today and I was able to wear semi-fall clothes, which considering the first time I'll get to even come close to that in Tucson is November, I was pretty excited.

My favorite place in London is now Liberty of London on Regent. They wouldn't let me take pictures inside, but seriously, Shaleah, Anthro has nothing on Liberty.

Tomorrow we do Buckingham Palace and possibly a Thames sight-seeing cruise. Also might need to go back to Liberty...

Monday we get on the ship!

The First Day of the Last Year

Jeffrey Gautreaux

3L at the University of Arizona James E Rogers College of Law

and Managing Editor of the Arizona Law Review

Looking excited ... OK, maybe not.

And you thought poodle sweaters were bad ...

Lucy has had a recurring wound on one of her paws that I think may be related to the hot pavement in the complex and the harsh gravelly bits at the dog park.

So in order to keep her pads intact, I decided she needed to try out dog boots. Paw Tectors to be exact.

I was planning on a nice discreet black to go with her face mask. They only had pink.

My dogs should really learn to resist or at least rebel a little bit. But no. They just go along with it. My dogs are awesome.

And for those wondering how well she walks in them, video!

Monsoon!

Last night we had some high winds and drizzle. Tonight, the sky opened up. What's always amazing to me is how these huge storms well up throughout the day, unleash their fury in the evening, but only for about a half hour. An hour after it started, it had completely stopped rainin. An hour and a half later, there was a sunset with just the smell of Tucson rain in the air and wet pavement to signal a storm had passed.

Western Bike Trip 2009

Some of you know my dad is on a massive motorcycle trip around parts of America. He got to Tucson to rest his ass last Tuesday, just as Jeffrey and I were getting back from our Nebraska adventures (pictures here).

My dad's friend Bob got here on Sunday around lunchtime. He drove from Raleigh, NC to Tucson in what may be a record for crossing the country for people who are not astronauts on jealous revenge missions. Left Raleigh a little after 10 p.m. and got to Tucson a little after 10 a.m. that Sunday. He eyes were a little bloodshot when he got here ...

So they are now off on their Montana loop adventure. You can follow my dad on his SmugMug page where he has posted maps, photos, and captions that ever so subtly suggest that Denis C. holds them up and that Sedona is a modern-day consumer travesty! 

The Life Cycle of Doves

First there was the egg that I tried to thwart with a forest of plastic cutlery. The eggs would not be denied.

Then there is a giant leap in the timeline because I was afraid they would die like last year's so I didn't want to get attached.

This morning before I left for work, the two babies were hopping around precariously in the rail box.

When I got home, the nest was empty.



I looked to the rocks below, but didn't see any bodies splayed out and broken from the fall. "Maybe they made it," I thought to myself. 



A little sad, I turned around to go in. 

And there they were...

...Crapping on all my stuff!

Those bastards!

Beady Eye ENHANCE!

ding ding Ding DIng DING DING

The microwave at work dings once when it is done and then, if not tended to, it dings little reminder dings about every five minutes afterward. (It also loses all power if you try to make coffee and microwave something at the same time.)  

After about a half-hour of hearing reminder dings, I thought, "hey, that's annoying."  

 I realized that one of my coworkers was outside on her cell phone, so maybe it was hers. 

So I waited. 

 *Ding Ding*

  She came inside and sat at her desk.  

*Ding Ding*

 I said loudly, "Does someone have something in the microwave?"  

"Not me" replied coworker that had been outside.  

*Ding Ding*

  "DOES ANYONE HAVE FOOD IN THE MICROWAVE?" I asked from the hallway. 

 No response. 

So I go to Susan's office and ask her personally (because standing a foot from her open office door in the hallway wasn't sufficient). 

 "Susan, were you microwaving something?" (The following response brought me to my knees. I was crying I was laughing so hard.)

  "I don't know. What is it?" 

What?! WHAT?! I DON'T KNOW! WHAT IS IT?! OBVIOUSLY it is NOT your FUCKING food!  EEJITS!

T-Shirt UpCycling

This morning I woke up with a strong need to redesign some of  my t-shirts. 

First I woke Jeffrey up and had him help me make a body form of myself using an old t-shirt and some duct tape. Here's a tutorial for those inclined to do this as well. We only used one layer and we only did the torso because that's how much duct tape we had.

Secondly, I started putting whole shirts on the form and attacking them with scissors and elastic. 

voila!

Spring!

The Palo Verde's in Tucson are in bloom and I'm dosed up on Walgreen's brand Zyrtec and feeling pretty good.

I went out with my friend Julie to do The "turquoise" trail around the downtown Presidio neighborhood. The trail is a loop around the historic district where the Old Pueblo used to be.



The first stop was a chunk of the old original fort built by war lords (or not, there were live re-enactors there and they were blocking the signage. We don't go near re-enactors. So we had to wait until one of the popped away for water before we could check out the barracks.)

But I did snap a shot of Julie pretending to discuss politics with the local mural men.



And this awesome sign advertising that this old hotel has a swimming pool — refrigerated!




It was a nice breezy day and despite everything in downtown Tucson being closed so that we couldn't get food and water while lost on the trail ...

It was a great walk in a cool part of town on a beautiful day.

Jeffrey was home studying.

NyQuil and the Gilmore Girls: Make it Work

Right after I purchased a million dollars worth of Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day's amazing cleaning products and was armed with my new pink Playtex cleaning gloves (with L'Occitane rose hand cream on underneath for moisturizing multitasking) I came down with a wicked cold. I mean I bought the stuff at noon and by 3:30 p.m. I was on the couch moaning.

I cleaned the kitchen, the hall bath, had wiped down most of the surfaces in the living room and even had scrubbed (er ... chipped) off the layers of coffee in rings on my desk. The house smelled divinely of basilly Mrs. Meyer's goodness. And then WALLOP! Huge horrible sinus-infection feeling swollen head, uncontrollable sneezing, and just exhaustion. At first I thought it was the Mrs. Meyer's (that stuff is POTENTLY fragranced) that was attacking me.

By Monday morning I couldn't get out of bed. Even NyQuil wasn't making much of a dent in my symptoms.

I blame Jeffrey. Obviously he brought the germ from law school. They may be smart, but I don't think that group washes their hands. (I have proof: when I was at the school last week for trivia night a girl I encountered in the bathroom RINSED her FINGERTIPS under the water for a second and ran out. Um. No. That is not scrubbing in. Dirty law students!)

So what do you do when you are home sick while everyone goes to work and you don't have cable? I watched the Gilmore Girls (Seasons 3 and 4) and read Tim Gun's book on style.

So now I'm talking really fast ala Lorelai and seriously considering throwing out half of my closet because it doesn't fit the tenets of style, taste, and quality (and fit).

However, I was home in time to snag my Old Navy purchases from the UPS guy. My $10 T-shirt is fantastic!

The End of the World

Watching Werner Herzog's documentary, "Encounters at the End of the World."

Not a movie about "fluffy penguins," Werner esplores the characters that have chosen to live, work, and study in the South Pole.

Breathtakingly beautiful, the film has the underlying theme that we (as well as a few disoriented penguins) are on a futile journey to learn about the Earth fully until the Earth "regulates" us into nonexistence.

It's pretty awesome. It's very Herzogian. It's very cold looking. It makes you worried about global warming.

And I don't understand why the one woman's bar show at the base camp is to put herself in a duffel bag and scoot around the stage.

Such is life in a Herzog documentary I guess.

Things of Awesomeness

Tonight was the series finale of "Mama's Boys." Possibly the worst guilty pleasure EVER, the show had zero content that made it worthwhile except the crazed ranting of mothers that needed counseling and that made Jeffrey and I fear for Jo Jo's well being. SEACREST! You inglorious bastard! 

And the greatest Yao Ming picture. I just can't stop looking at it.

Overcoming Some Obstacles

Friday I finally made it to a yoga class. The studio was new and clean and the clients were nice, tidy people who weren't wearing patchoili or *gasp* no odor masker at all, and the teacher was a sparkly and fun chick who was excited to see Suzette and me.

I don't think Suzette liked it very much. At one point she asked me, "Is this when we drink the Kool-Aid?"  I guess she wasn't much for the om-ing.

After class I felt great. Saturday, I woke up with a headache just felt sore all over. I'm guessing that the yoga class did one or any of the following: unleashed demons in my body or I used muscles I hadn't really been using at all or maybe just in new ways.

Saturday night we went out to get a new all-in-one printer. All was going well until I hit the same problem I've been having with my computer for several months but hadn't gotten around to fixing: I'm an asshole and I have forgotten my system administration password.

That's the password that lets you install new programs, update software, and install printer drivers onto your machine.

I knew the hard way to fix it: backup everything and reinstall the operating system.

I kept hoping for a different option. After some tantrum throwing and poodle shoving, Jeffrey decided it was time to call Keith who, although is a doctor, also is some kind of weird Apple savant.

Keith agreed I had to reinstall the operating system. Damnit!

So I burned everything on my desktop to discs just in case, and started the process.

After hours of uploading all the things I needed to after the install, I now have a machine that is doing everything I could ever hope my machine would do, except make coffee.

Maybe Keith can develop a hack for that ...

This is an uber-awesome day, folks. 

Now where is that bottle of Advil ...

Promises promises

I promised to blog everyday. I didn't promise it would be interesting.

I'm tired. Work seemed long today. I did get a lot of child-like glee out of my balance ball I've been using as a chair and it is definitely helping my back and stomach ab area strenth.

But now I'm just tired. We had excellent Greek chicken kababs and a Greekish pasta salad side that I made, so that was nice. And I had a ballet class. Then I went to Starbucks and had one of their tea lattes. I won't do that again. Tea lattes aren't that good.

So now I'm waiting on some corrections for a newsletter and am contemplating a bath. Soaking in hot water sounds mighty goooo.

Yay! Friday is around the bend!

Shake your groove thing

It's that time of year again: ballet recital time. This year the studio where I take classes is putting on Cinderella.

The adult dancers who kind of suck (my class) are the "seamstresses" and the part is about three minutes long.  I will not be on that stage.

I have a lot of reasons not to do it and they all make me sound either 1. pathetic 2. whiney or 3. bitchy.

So because I'm dropping one of my classes every week, I need to replace it with something else that keeps my old butt off the couch.

What I'm looking into:

capoeira

yoga

aerial dance

hula hoop dance

tap

Lord of the Awkward Moment

Because we don't have cable, I am watching some NBC world dance-off show. The Lord of the Dance guy is the host and he just said to the South African dance leader, "What was that dance? Is that a battle? Are you hunting? You definitely seemed angry about something."

South African dance leader just kind of stared at him.

I also like the judge from China who doesn't seem to speak English so thus shares no witty banter like the guy from India who I think grew up in L.A. or the hilarious guy from Russia that keeps making vodka jokes. China guy just says his score ... kind of angrily. And it is always 8. 

Awesome.

That Ryan Seacrest's brain child "Mamas' Boys" follows it on the airing schedule and that I had pizza pretty much makes this a great evening.

Cool weather=crazy horses

Lately, I've been a better rider. 

I don't know if it is because ballet has made my legs stronger, I'm more confident, or maybe it is because Kendall at the Barn told me to "get on that horse, smack it with the crop, and don't take any shit" which has proved to be a magic tip. 

Either or all, I've been a much better rider lately. Which is a damn good thing because the horses have gone wild.

The weather here has been chilly at night and glorious during the day and the horses have been feeling mighty feisty lately. Ted, a 22-year-old thoroughbred (which is elderly for a horse), has been downright ornery. You get on him, if he holds still long enough for mounting, and he takes off down the rail barely walking and has the "hops." Even Martin, my trusty buddy who normally just bucks when he wants you to be aware of something (kind of like pointing at something, except that they have hooves and it's hard to point with a hoove unless you are Bullwinkle), has been a bit hard to keep all feet on the ground because he's just gone nutty.

It ends up requiring a lot more leg strength as you pinch your knees into the saddle, and a lot more humor. It's sort of hilarious having these older horses yip around the ring, but only if you are ready for it and are prepared to ride through. And keep your hands still, and don't use your legs, and don't pull back, and 100 other things you are supposed to do when your horse is out of control and you are on top trying to maintain composure.

We've had a nice selection of ice cream to choose from (riders bring ice cream when they fall off as penance) fortunately none of it is has yet to be provided by me!

What's my point? I don't have one. My legs are sore though, from trying to stay on. 

I promise to be better.

I know I've been really really really horrible at keeping up with my blogging.

Here are my excuses (not necessarily in order of weight):

1. It's what I do all day at my job as a marketing assistant for a book publisher. I write blog entries and articles and twitter all day so when I get home I'm just over the whole communication aspect of the computer.

2. I'm not that interested in talking about my life except in random non sequitors. Like last night I enjoyed some of our fine local advertising that made me laugh out loud. But was it blog worthy? Well, it will be from now on. 

3. I'm a slacker.

So I promise, from now on, I will blog EVERYDAY. EVERYDAY YOU HEAR ME, ME?! 

I pinky promise.