ding ding Ding DIng DING DING

The microwave at work dings once when it is done and then, if not tended to, it dings little reminder dings about every five minutes afterward. (It also loses all power if you try to make coffee and microwave something at the same time.)  

After about a half-hour of hearing reminder dings, I thought, "hey, that's annoying."  

 I realized that one of my coworkers was outside on her cell phone, so maybe it was hers. 

So I waited. 

 *Ding Ding*

  She came inside and sat at her desk.  

*Ding Ding*

 I said loudly, "Does someone have something in the microwave?"  

"Not me" replied coworker that had been outside.  

*Ding Ding*

  "DOES ANYONE HAVE FOOD IN THE MICROWAVE?" I asked from the hallway. 

 No response. 

So I go to Susan's office and ask her personally (because standing a foot from her open office door in the hallway wasn't sufficient). 

 "Susan, were you microwaving something?" (The following response brought me to my knees. I was crying I was laughing so hard.)

  "I don't know. What is it?" 

What?! WHAT?! I DON'T KNOW! WHAT IS IT?! OBVIOUSLY it is NOT your FUCKING food!  EEJITS!